Woman that looks like man acquires ability to turn humans to stone.
Jeff: Reacting to a group of small children tossing rocks at her and calling her a "Manny man man man", Ima Fulmanly began turning the innocent lads into solid rock just by giving them a good stare with here bushy eyebrowed eye. Ima continued her reign of terror by petrifying her neighbors and most of the animals in her neighborhood and decorating her yard with them. "I may look like a man, but my lawn is one hell of a conversation peice!", she was quoted saying before turning a springer spaniel to granite.

In an effort to show that her "rockifying" is not in bad taste, Ms. Fulmanly will be placing the rest of her cold-hearted collection on display in her suburban home. Pictured on the right is a sample of her "Intimates" collection.

On the left you can see her gazing deep into the eyes of a homemade bust of the local mail carrier. You can almost hear the lifeless screams of the severed sediment head; "Help! Her man-stare is making me uneasy! And I can see her masculine nose hairs! Damn she's ugly!"

Young girl's labias used as boxing bag. Local authorities dazzled.
Dan: (Reuters) Houston, TX: A young lady was found astonished when, according to her story she received "a jab at her labia". After required more explanation she said the following dialogue had taken place before the crime was commited:

Dork: ...can I touch it?
Girl: touch what?
Dork: you know... "it".
Girl: Oh. Ok.
* Dork only touches till moisten.
* Girl thinks "what the hell is wrong with this guy?"
Dork: Well, that was cool, but I gotta go.
* Dork punches girl's wajeenga.
Girl: Ow!

Dan: After hearing the story, all policemen laughed and kept saying "what a sex dork". They're now on the look for the runaway a.k.a. "box boxer". If you have any information about the suspect, please inform us through boxboxercase@antipop.4mg.com or use the antipop box. Crimes like these can't go unpunished.

Editor's Note: What a world we're living in where our daughters can't lead their lifes peacefully without some maniac punching their clitoris. This has got to stop. We must form a vigilante group to hunt down the "box boxer" to guarantee a better, safer and dorkless word for us all.
Jeff: I know I don't want to live in world where my daughter can't even get fingered right.

Brainirc.Damaged.net
Jeff: I went and had fun at the Damaged.net oper's expense again! And since I love you all so much, I logged it for your enjoyment. Despite the headline, I was the one acting like the idiot, but read it anyway!
Dan: You know what other oper I think is stupid? This server admin from irc.nintendorks.com he's a fucking ass.

It's that time of the day
Time to open the Antipop mail, and see what our readers have to say.

Where have I been in the chat rooms? Oh wait, some bisexual man slut (aka Vengence) banned me because I said he sucks cock. Damn, gives new meaning to "You can't handle the truth!" doesn't it? - Axle191
Dan: Please refer to damaged.net #services special. Thank you.

I love antipop. - Lupus
Dan: I can't think of a non overused answer to this.
Jeff: try "that iz kewl omag i love it 2!!11"

Yay, my quote was at the top! - Geno
Dan: Yeah, a few updates ago. Jeff put it there.
Jeff: You're so cute when you're happy

im on the DC browser. This sucks. Help me. - MKDemon
Dan: I hear that browser has a zoom function very suitable for porn viewing.
Jeff: You could try turning it off and using a computer instead, but that may make too much sense.

I want to suck you dry. - Rogue
Dan: Rogue also has the power to petrify some parts of my body.
Jeff: Now that you mention it, my knee has been feeling a little stiff.

You will find Dan at Up the Ass's Bar for Bisexual Monkeyhumps in Rio de Janeiro. - Anonymous Source
Dan: Actually me and Jeff are ignoring the fact I was missing simply cause we can't think of a reason funny enough why it happened. Therefore, you must ignore it too.
Jeff: Dan was gone?

Jeff you are not second in command... blake is. and i am fifteenth in command therefore screw you over. - GaryL
Dan: Blake is dead, he got a "life" or something. And everyone knows that Antipop is a communist site.
Jeff: What's a "Blake"?

I miss antipop. when will it be updated? - Lupus
Dan: Whenever we feel like the world needs a bit of quality humor. Or whenever Jeff and I quit being lazy bums.

I am sending this from a Unix Shell becuase I am 31337 and a giant nerd. - Jeff
Dan: I []Dh33® you.
Jeff: You're so pretty!

Update. -JonoD
Dan: No.

No, really. Do it. -JonoD
Dan: NO.

You see, updates bring visitors, and visitors can bring donations, and donations bring money, and money can be exchanged for goods and services. Therefore, update=money. - JonoD
Dan: All the money Antipop gets is used back on the site. That's right, none.

Guilty Parties
People that "helped" with this update: Back from the dead Dan, Sexy Spy Jeff (TFC ruelz), the uncanny X-Men.

du hast?

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Recommended:
CD: System of a Down (System of a Down)
Movie: Porn
Game: International Superstar Soccer 2000
Site: This very own.
TV: Action

Excuse me, do you have any grey poupon?
Respect The Blank Page's and Antipop's chat! (Respect!)
GameCube looks like a barbie oven.
Top 5 things we'd do for a gamecube:
5. Enwhore ourselves.
4. Sell internal organs.
3. Kill boy bands.
2. Murder Sony executives.
1. Please Miyamoto sexually.