Dan's mom: "I told you I was hot!"
Dan: Continuing our campaign on turning antipop into a porn site so gradually people won't notice, we now present to you our (or at least Jeff's) favorite Playboy cover. We stole borrowed that from a great site, jokewallpaper.com. Click that sexy picture to enlarge it. And by "it" I mean the pic. You freak.
Bart: Yeah, we steal borrow a lot of things. Like my sister's used tampons, we need those five times a day. Wait, that's just me. Dan and Jeff use sausages dipped in pig urine. They're so lucky...*grumble*
Jeff: Who is Bart and why is he talking so openly about my sausage habits?

A Message From Bart.
Bart: Hey, sorry for my blatant absence from last update; I was in vacation in Colorado. Screwing cows, of course. I'll now grudgingly return to my site duties, though Cow Screwing is much more fun.
Dan: Animal raping/porn is so two updates ago.

Whatever happened to Blake -- The plot thickens.
Bart: Strangely enough, Blake has disappeared off the face of the Earth. While every single fucking Antipop reader knows this by now due to our constant whining about it, they also know that it's because we desperately need site fillers. So I'm ressurecting this stupid-ass topic, 'What the bloody hell happened to Blake?!' Personally, I don't want to type this, because I already miss sticking my penis into my vaccum cleaner, but it beats being raped by the rabid raccoon that jumps me every time I leave the computer, so I'll make up some reasons for why Blake is missing, you bitch:

#1: Blake got drunk off his ass in a barn in Kansas, tripped down a set of stairs, and died in the arms of an impotent 78-year old male stripper.
#2: Blake took ten worms soaked in vegetable oil and {censored}, resulting in a meaty mess. You shouldn't have left 'em alive, Blake...
#3: Blake, being incurably bolemic, was forcing himslef to vomit in a bathroom stall when he magically got zapped to the Kindom of Teeny Pop Shit. Poor Blake imploded after the constant exposure to whiny transexuals. (Editor's note: crack is bad for you)
#4: Blake was clubbed to death with a dead fish by a gang of motorcycle midgets after he made a cheap crack about the 'Seven Dwarfs'.
#5: Blake returned to the deep bowels of hell when he yelled "There's no place like Home."

Bart: Well, that's all I can make up...err, conclude for now. Of course, there's a chance he may be hiding in my pants, but I can't see a thing in there due to my enormous penis. Blake, you down there?
Dan: You say nothing but lies, I heard from a very reliable source that Blake is actually working on a site called "Whacked!" which will basically be a rip off of both Antipop and The Blank Page, but unlike us it'll be "a kewl sight 4 kewl ppl". That's all the info I can disclose.
Jeff: I hereby place upon Bart the title of "Honorary Stranger with a Mouth Like a Truck Stop Waitress"

Apple's Steve Jobs personally takes one of three daily orders for a new Macintosh:
Steve Jobs: Yes, you do get a free mousepad with your new mac.*
*Mouse not included

Antipop: now the number one site that doesn't make you go blind!
Jeff: Are you looking for a site with a stressful color scheme that will make your eyes bleed? Look no further than our good friends at The Blank Page with their new layout after the relaunch.
Kramer: Ahh! My rods and cones!

Gay takes photograph, public find it queer.
Jeff: Eric Gay of the Associated Press was on location at some event or another, and managed to snap this queer picture of some five-ohs standing around a car. Mr. Gay wasn't available for comment on the picture, as the "Purple Shirt Shack" had just opened and he was striking up a conversation with a few men in biking shorts on how strapping the pictured police looked in uniform.

It's that time of the day
Time to open the Antipop mail, and see what our readers have to say.

Okay, I Seriously missed something.. What The Fuck?- Daisy
Jeff: You and me both, baby.
Dan: Do I even have anything to say about letters like this?

Alright, I know TBP and Antipop have started this whole chatroom together, but did Jeff have to have sex with Bloodthirsty Mule? I mean, shouldn't the blue monkey be doing that? - Zero TXH
Dan: Obviously Jeff is the blue monkey. Or maybe they just have some kind of weird connection.
Jeff: You know you've been accepted into the Antipop community when there are beastality references to you in the letters section. I'd like to thank my mom, my agent, and most of all, the fans.
Bart: "Fans"? Jeff, you're too funny!
Dan: That's why I hired him, good ole MightyBlueJustice. Who am I kidding, I just hired him so I could say "Hey! I need BJ in my office NOW!"

This site needs to turn into a porn site. More hits, weeee - Dazz07
Dan: Don't worry, handy man. It's all being taken care of as we speak.

Thats a good question, Who The Fuck is Bart???? - Daisy
Bart: I'm Antipop's newest bitch. Get with the times, old fool!
Dan: Maybe you should read the archives a bit more.
Jeff: I tried the archives, I still came up with nothing besides all of my hilarious works of the past.

You like the juice don't you?,The juice is good, isn't it? - Coco13
Dan: Should I just ignore all the semen hidden innuendo?
O.J. Simpson: Semen? What are you talking about? I got a fan! The gloves didn't fit, man!

What is the problem with Michael Jackson? - Mush
Dan: No, stupid. We only write Seinfeld-like articles when we are lacking on content.
Seinfeld: What is the problem with airplane peanuts?

We're really filthy, but we won't take it up the ass from Jeff. - Three Filthy Midgets
Dan: Ha, and you call yourselves filthy...
Jeff: Look! Another sexual reference!
Bart: Sexual references are the very heart of Antipop.

Right now, I'm inserting "the" in front of my name. Why? Well...it gets the bitches...not Blake's kind of bitches...but my kind of bitches.
Anyhow, I'm just here to partly advertise my new GT column, which I think sucks this week (the first week), and to remind everyone that I don't give a flaming cowfuck if the red hurts your eyes on TBP! It's all a part of my evil plan.
My evil plan to destroy The Dreamcast Drunkard's genitals! - The Zero
Dan: The Zero looks much cooler. And TBP's colors are ok, I mean I don't really care that I'm now daltonic.
Jeff: wut iz daltinok

I'm writing in again to ask who the hell is that topless chick from last week.
And to remind you I will destroy The Dreamcast Drunkard's genitals.
Because he ripped me off and watered the shit down. - The Zero
Dan: Hmm, three emails? You obviously slept with someone (else) on the staff. That was Laetita Casta's pic I believe, probably the only good thing in France besides those stinky cheeses. Good luck with your evil plan.

Blake might be a man-slut, but he was MY man-slut. - Axle191
Dan: Blake was everyone's slut. You were living a lie.

punctuation, who needs it? its pointless crap. i personally am outraged by it! as bob said "Quotes and punctuation suck," that crazy mother funker! - I HATE PUNCTUATION
Dan: I think you mean you hate capitalization. Or something like that. Prick.
Bart: "Mother Funker"... haha! You're such a sad, revolting jackass.

Guilty parties.
People who "helped" with this update: Dan the Jungle Boy, StarCraft rookie Jeff, Intercourse rookie GaryL, Bart (Who the hell is Bart?), the cast of seinfeld.

I am so the zygotum

++main
++archives
++specials
++chat
++contact

Recommended:
CD: Dark Side of the Moon (Pink Floyd)
Movie: Summer of Sam
Game: Evolva (PC)
Site: jokewallpaper.com
TV: The Critic

Why the hell do the Flinstones celebrate Christmas if they live millions of years before Christ was born?
Respect The Blank Page's and Antipop's chat! (Respect!)
Mush is forever.
Top 5 reasons to watch "white men can't jump" the movie:
5. The white man dunks (Woody Harrelson)
4. The black man never dunks. What's up with that? (Wesley snipes)
3. A white man is actually good at basketball HA HA HA HA!
2. Rosie Perez's tight ass
1. Rosie perez's heavenly breasts