Return of the cookie monster.
Dan: Crazy Brian Allen is here with part three of the interview trilogy, let's check it out.

Brian Allen: All bow down before me! For the final part of my Antipop Interview Triology, I have managed to land an exclusive interview with the monkey Dan and Blake love to have sex with....just don't ask how I know that this is the exact monkey, but it is, trust me.

BA: Hello Monkey!
Monkey: My name is Billy.
BA: Oh, sorry.
Billy: It's alright.
BA: So, now be honest, who do you enjoy having sex with more, Dan, or Blake.
Billy: Blake. He is massive. Dan just tickles.
BA: It's probably the fact that Dan lives in a jungle.
Billy: I thought it was a circumcision accident.
BA: Or that. Now how exactly does that work? Is it more of a drunken sex or a forced sex in front of all the other monkeys in the zoo?
Billy: A little from column A, a little from column B
BA: Ahh, it makes perfect sense now.
Billy: Thank you for actually talking to me and not forcing sex upon me.
BA: You're my new best friend.
Billy: I love you.
BA: I love you too. Now is it true that every time you 'see' Blake he's wearing a tight red dress?
Billy: Yes.
BA: Care to illustrate?
Billy: Sure
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/ \
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He looks like that.
BA: I see...now is it true that the only place that Dan has jet black hair is on his head?
Billy: He is as gray as on old man past the equator.
BA: I'm finding out more about Blake and Dan in this one conversation with a monkey than I have ever found out in all the...year..I've known them.
Billy: Are you scared?
BA: Yes I am.
Billy: Can I have my banana now?
BA: Yes of course, I didn't forget.
Billy: Thank you sir.

Brian Allen: There you have it folks. My trilogy is complete. I am now retiring from the act of interviewing. If I receive enough pressure, I may return and do more, but as for now, I quit. I hope I have been able to make you laugh, smile, and maybe bring a tear to your eye. It's been a fun ride, and I'd like to thank Dan, Blake, and of course, Billy the monkey. And on a side note, Billy can be found at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. Thank you, and good night!

Teeny Pop Shit.
Dan:Now here's a very interesting piece of literature which happened to end up in my email, by our loyal reader and fan Bart:

"This is an "editorial" persecuting Brittany Spears for what she is: a whiny bitch.
Before I start, I have a few things to say. First of all, the whole "teen pop" music that is sweeping US youth sickens me. I am so goddamn tired of all this disposable shit that won't mean anything in two months! Whatever happened to bands that actually had consistently good material? Instead, we're stuck with these whiny-ass one-hit losers that are barely singing different stuff song after song! It gets so fucking tiring...oh well, I always have my kitty porn to comfort me.

Mmmm....kitty porn....
Err...ahem...back to the article.

Now, Brittany Spears. This has to be the most annoying whore I have ever witnessed in my twisted little life. Why is she a pop music star? The bitch can't even sing! If singing out of your nose weren't a fad right now, she'd still be living in the sewers with the rats!
Maybe it wouldn't piss me off so much if she wasn't so hot. "Hot?" you say. "Why the hell does a hot singer piss you off?" Because she is full of plastic! Hell, she's gotten so many implants, if I put her near a furnace, she'd melt! I've never seen an 18-year old with so many body enhancements! Oh yeah, she's always denying it, but it's so obvious it damn near hurts! It's pretty sad, actually: all her CDs have a label on them saying, "This case is guaranteed to contain less plastic than Brittany."
And then that semen doctors supposedly found in her stomach. I say, BS. Hell, they're saying that she gave Backstreet Boys or whatever a bunch of blowjobs, but that's a lie! Why am I sticking up for her? I'm not. The Backstreet Boys don't have dicks! They're women and we all know it! (How could anyone but a girl sing in falsetto all the time?) Brittany paid for some doctors to say that they found semen, to cover up the fact that BSB and Brittany had hot lesbian sex with dildos!! It's obvious! Brittany is a fucking whore!
Maybe I'm too cynical for a twelve-year-old, but I can tell shit when I see it. Brittany should be banned from this country and shipped to a desert, where she would die a horrible death, the stupid bitch! Why should this happen? Because soon enough, teen pop will be used to hypnotize the populace into being bisexual fags, just as they like it! Don't say I didn't warn anyone..."
- Bart, Pimply Adolescent [Unable to display his image]

Dan: The kid has lots of talents I'd say, and I agree with him whole heartedly. On with the site now.

This sickens me.
Dan: What sickens me? those stupid ICQ forwarding things. so here's some things I think ICQ users should have clear:

1. ICQ will NEVER be a paid service, but if you want to buy mine I'll gladly sell it.
2. No one will receive ICQ 2000 by email, not sent by Mirabills that is.
3. No third world child dieing of cancer or aids will receive 10 cents if I forward your stupid message.
4. I don't give a rat's ass if a certain UIN can send me a virus.
5. My computer won't explode nor will my mother's head if I don't forward this message.
6. My UIN will NEVER have to be re-registered.
7. There's no such thing as a "ICQ gay list" that you'll be included in unless you forward the stupid message.
8. No Backstreet Boy will die when they reach 5 thousand forwards.
9. I WILL NOT find it cute if a little palm tree appears next to my contacts list or if my flower changes into a rainbow.
10. Most of the things you think that'll happen if you don't forward the messages, will NOT happen.

Dan: I'm sorry to disappoint you all, but a goat won't break into my house and eat me alive if I don't forward some stupid message. So to end the stupidity in ICQ, ignore those messages. Another public service from antipop.

It's that time of the day
Time to open the Antipop mail, and see what our readers have to say.

There's nothing wrong with screwing kitties up the ass! Why, I stuck my love stick into Sparkles, and he enjoyed it! Go Kitty Porn! - Bart Sershon, NManBart
Dan: Sure, it all seems very fun until it happens with you. Then it's a blast.

I'm alive, don't you worry. As for Daisy, we just fucked each other over and over and over again during a period of 5 months. And yes we're both underage. Contact me for information on purchasing a video. - Mush
Dan: We all missed you buddy.

Everyone knew Rosie was a lesbian. Her and Rosanne have dirty sex all the time. Well,at least in Daisy's fantasies they do. - Axle191
Dan: hahaha it's funny cause it's true!

Do you like me being a lesbian? Beacause im NOT!!!!!! WHY DO YOU THINK IM A LESBIAN????? AHHHHHHHHH YOUR ALL STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!!! Hmm..
*looks at Dewy*
*gets really scared, and turned off*
*looks at Dan*
*gets really horny*
--End of transmission--
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i love you Dan
- Daisy
Dan: If you get one of your lesbian lovers we can have a threesome, I'm in.

See, Latinos are invading your site.....after that, we'll take over the world! - Vato_Loco
Dan: All in its due time, my loyal peon.

Hi, Blake has a crush on me and I have a tight ass, if I let him give me anal sex I bet I would just end up crushing his penis. My ass is tighter then a pickle jar you can't open. - Jill
Dan: That's a classic.

Gah! I've got a problem. Okay, now, all of a sudden, bam, there it was. Now, I can't even walk down the stars without a bulge! AHHH! What can I do? (oh yeah, crazy mexicans rule) - ApocX
Dan: I recommend stop taking viagras like they were cereals.

I'll pay you guys $3 billion to fuck me up the ass. - Bill Gates
Dan: Get away, devil!

Your all sick bastards. Stop typing "/me humps da bot" whenever you see me! I cant fit more than 10 cocks into the microphone jack on the speaker! Or whatever....
Ahh hell ill shut the fuck up now. Sleep with you on IRC!! - {buzz}bot
Dan: Stupid bot.

Guilty parties.
People who "helped" with this update: Dan the Jungle Boy, Blake el Rajun Cajun, Bart the pimply adolescent, Daisy for the cool logo, Billy the monkey.

No way

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Recommended:
CD: Frizzle Fry (Primus)
Movie: Gladiator
Game: Dino Crisis
Site: Are you a terrorist?
TV: The Spice Channel

More people should write us stuff damnit, after all the form's right there you got no excuse.
Thanks to Daisy for making the cool logo, we appreciate it.
I'm tired of movies like "Blue Streak" which are just a stupid way to sell rap soundtracks.
Top 5 ways to pick up girls:
5) Flowers.
4) Get them drunk.
3) Walk around naked.
2) Beg to let you fuck them.
1) Don't be such a geek.